Dodging The Bullet
by fadedelegance
Summary: T for language. Post-"Innocence". Yay for TNT showing "Law and Order" reruns! This ep makes me so sad. I felt terrible for Mike, so I wrote about what I think was going through his head after that debacle.


**Disclaimer:**** Dick Wolf and NBC own "Law and Order". I don't. **

**A/N:**** So I love watching "Law and Order" reruns on TNT. Monday (5/02/11), they showed "Innocence", and I freaking love that episode because Mike is one of my favorite characters. Since I've been under a lot of pressure due to this being finals week, and fic ideas pop into my head in droves when I'm under pressure, I randomly thought of this, and wrote it in like a half an hour—a half an hour during which I should've been studying for my management final. LOL **

** Also, this is dedicated to all the Mike Cutter fangirls and M/C shippers, like myself, out there. :-P And to Linus Roache because he did SUCH a good job in this ep. (I mean, he was always awesome, but, seriously, I think this ep was some of the best acting I've ever seen from him. Heart you, Linus! LOL)**

**Dodging the Bullet**

_"I just dodged a bullet."_

_"Did you?"_

At first, Mike thought that maybe he had, but if Jack didn't think so—maybe he hadn't…Hell, who was he kidding? Of course it wasn't over yet. He still had to face the state Bar.

What the hell was he going to do? Should he just draw up a letter of resignation and submit it, to be effective immediately, and just be done with it? What would people in the office say once they saw that lovely article Jack had just told him about?

He could hear them all now:

_"Hey, did you hear Cutter got busted by the Bar? Poor bastard could lose his license!"_

_"How the hell do you even get into law school without having a college degree? I thought that wasn't allowed?"_

_"Maybe he's just really well-connected. A lot of times, it's not _what _you know, it's_ who _you know. I mean, look at Dubya—guy's dumb as shit, but he still got into Yale!"_

_"What a hack! The interns are more qualified than he is!"_

_"Apparently, just Joe Schmoe off the street can be a prosecutor these days. That's pathetic."_

And there wasn't a single thing Mike could say to anyone otherwise, should he actually happen to overhear any of his colleagues saying anything like that because he agreed. He thought it was all true.

He couldn't believe it. Everything he'd worked for, all those hours of busting his ass to get himself where he was—had it all been for nothing? It just seemed like everything was falling apart right in front of him—and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it. He could only watch. He could only watch and feel completely helpless. It was like fate was right in his face, screaming, "Fuck you, Michael Cutter!"

He had absolutely no idea what he would do, should the absolute worst case scenario end up happening.

He'd dreamed of being a prosecutor for as long as he could remember. What was he meant to do in this life if not practice law?

He hadn't felt this dejected since high school. His father had promised to make it to Mike's final high school baseball game. The team had made it to the state championship—and they'd won. But that wasn't what Mike had cared about his father seeing. He'd just wanted his father to see him hit the solo homer he'd hit—to see the successful double-play he'd helped his team make in the ninth inning. But no—yet again, his father had broken a promise. And that'd been the last straw for Mike…

Part of him wanted to head to the nearest bar and get completely wasted. Another part of him wanted to punch a hole in the wall and then see if he could get Emily Ryan—that cruel, backstabbing bitch he'd once trusted and looked up to—disbarred.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He didn't turn around.

"You've already rubbed it in enough, Jack," he snapped.

"It's not Jack. It's me."

Mike turned around. Connie was standing in the doorway.

"Connie…" Mike said, softening up. "I thought you'd left for the day…"

"No," said Connie. "I was waiting for Jack to leave so I could come see you."

"When we were at Rikers today, why'd you tell me to go on ahead and wait for you? Why'd you stay behind?"

"So I could look Emily Ryan in the eye and ask her if she was proud of herself."

"You didn't think me going after her tactics was too much?" Mike asked softly, unable to look at Connie.

"I thought Diaz was lying, too, Mike," said Connie. "So going after her tactics I agree with, but the clinic? Mike, I think that _was_ too much. But what _she_ did? That was despicable."

Mike paused for a moment, completely humbled by how supportive she was being. He finally turned around.

"You think so?" he asked.

"I do," said Connie. "I mean, first she tells you it's a technicality and then she turns right around and uses it to try to completely ruin your career? Now I don't know where she went to law school, but where _I_ went, fighting to win a case does not mean you try to get the opposing council disbarred."

"She betrayed me, Connie…and I never saw it coming," Mike said softly, shaking his head.

Connie approached him.

"Come here, Mike," she said.

Mike stepped closer to her, and Connie hugged him. He hugged her back. She couldn't help but rest her head on his shoulder.

Mike thought this was the only good thing that'd happened since they'd started dealing with the Stuber appeal. Connie was making him love her even more—and she had no idea…

"You _are_ a lawyer," Connie said. "A very, _very_ good one. And you know what? Having a Bachelor's degree isn't one of the qualifications for being a licensed attorney here. The Bar can't take your license, Mike. There are no grounds for it."

"Yeah…By the way—thank you for having my back. It means more than you know."

"You're welcome," Connie replied.

She lifted her head up off his shoulder, so she could look at him.

"I'm going to head out now," she said. "I never turn my phone off, so if you need to talk, you just call me, okay?"

"Okay," Mike said, still not looking at her.

"I mean it, Mike," Connie said, looking him directly in the eyes, and, like she always did, trying to ignore the way doing so made her feel.

"Okay," Mike said, returning her gaze.

Being this close to her made his resolve even more difficult to maintain than usual.

They made eye contact for a moment.

Then—

"Connie," Mike began gently, wondering if she'd let him kiss her.

_Don't, Connie, you told yourself you're not getting hurt again,_ Connie mentally scolded herself.

She backed away before Mike could say anything else.

"I have to get going," she said. "But you remember what I said."

Mike nodded.

"Okay," he said softly.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Connie."

As he watched her leave, he thought that perhaps he could just dodge Emily Ryan's bullet after all.


End file.
